Some would call me a lightweight drinker. I would say I'm cost-effective.
My girlfriend says she wants to be a dog. I think she just wants people to scratch her head and not care when she licks the floor.
What's the BIGGEST difference between white guys and black guys? Probably the skin color.
Whenever someone leaves a few seconds on the microwave I always use them. I hate wasting time.
I need a lot of validation in my life. That's why I hang out in parking garages.
I'm not into this whole texting while driving thing. I prefer writing postcards.
My grandma's been having bladder issues and I wanted to give her practical gift this year. My mom said Depends would make her feel too old. So instead I gave her Huggies.
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