I've been slackin', but here are a few!
Listening to women tell stories is like listening to free form jazz. I never know what the hell's going on, but when there's silence I have to act impressed.
Another sign said, "Wet Paint," so I threw water at it.
No news is good news, unless there's no news because every reporter is dead.
I feel a small sense of pride whenever I make a Gmail password that is Very Strong.
On the subway, a sign read "Beware the Gap," so now I only go to Old Navy.
